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Radio Show
by zprymantis@smilingwithteeth.com
I've often wondered if my father was a spanko. Did he recognize
the signs in me, his daughter?
Thirty years ago, when my father was left to entertain my brother
and I, we would often play Radio Show. We had a reel to reel tape
player. He would play the Monster, my older brother would be Rolo
"the dim witted boy" and I would be Rolo's mother, Mrs. Rolo.
Our play always had a similar routine. Each radio show consisted
of Rolo being asked to do a chore for Mrs. Rolo. He would argue,
then complain that he couldn't complete the task after discovering
a monster in some unusual place. Then Rolo's mother would be summoned
after she finally believed her son. The monster would be removed
from his hiding place and the wraith of Rolo's mother would persuade
him to never scare anyone again.
We took great delight in devising sound effects. My father, who
had Multiple Sclerosis, would direct us to various places around
the house to gather sound effects. We would return to him and
he would remind us to clean up any mess we may have made in the
search for the perfect sound. We usually had all evidence of our
fun time cleared away and the reel to reel tape player shoved
back under the couch by the time the real mother (or monster?)
of the house returned.
Because my father's voice was slow and mumbled, he was perfectly
cast as our monster. He would howl and moan from the various hiding
places. There were The Monster in the Toilet, The Monster in the
Kitchen Sink, The Monster in the Closet and my favorite The Monster
in the Mailbox.
When Rolo discovered the Monster in the mailbox he of course ran
to get his mother. The Monster tried his best to scare Mrs. Rolo,
but she (I) was unflappable. My father once told me that Mrs.
Rolo was the most kindhearted character on the planet. No matter
how he tried to frighten her, the monster was always treated with
kindness and sympathy.
"Auuurrrggghhhh. I will kill you all and clog your drain with
bones" said the Monster in the Kitchen Sink.
"How did you get stuck in there? Oh you poor Monster, that must
be very uncomfortable" replied the ever kind Mrs. Rolo. "Should
we get some Vaseline, or a plunger?"
Well, during the Mailbox episode the Monster did his very best
to frustrate Mrs. Rolo. He continued to be 'mean' even when Mrs.
Rolo did her best to cure him with kindness. Eventually, Mrs.
Rolo did what any frustrated eight year old spanko would do in
this instance. She pulled that monster out of the mailbox by his
big floppy ear and put him over her knee and spanked him.
I can remember my father, the monster, begging and pleading for
the spanking to stop.
"Aauuurrggh, I'm sorry, I won't be bad anymore"
I also remember the delighted looks on our faces as we made the
spanking sound effects. The spanking was definitely the highlight
of our show. Mrs. Rolo accomplished a lot that day, the Monster
promised to be a good monster from then on and was promptly invited
to dinner.
This radio show, like the others, was erased when the tape player
was next used. Still, I will always remember it as the time I
spanked my father.
© 1999 by zprymantis@smilingwithteeth.com, not to be reposted or distributed
without permission
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